and welcome to CINESTER. You’ve done the right thing. It’s not too late for you to make better movie decisions. In fact, I’m gonna let you in on a little secret: movies today SUCK. No it’s okay, this needs to be said my friend. You’ve probably been feeling this for a while and I want to let you know, you aren’t alone. You don’t have to suffer silently. There are good films out there, buried under about 30 feet of steaming horse dung, that I, the MovieAngel, will wade through for you.
Step 1: Each week I’ll review a brand-spanking new film.
Step 2: I will force myself to sit through said film.
Step 3: I will review aforementioned film and craft a letter to the people responsible for the train wreck I just viewed.
Step 4: I will make a list of alternatives that won’t leave you with the desire to gouge your own eyes out.
It’s that simple.
Now you’re probably asking who is the MovieAngel, and why should I care what she thinks about film today? The answer is, you shouldn’t. I’m kidding. Every TV show has that moment where the character is about to make a bad decision and has an angel on one shoulder and devil on the other. Okay, I’m your MovieAngel. In all honesty, I’m just a Midwestern girl who loves a good movie and loves to hate the bad ones, and I’ll bet if you were really honest, you could use a little MovieAngel on your shoulder.
(P.S. I dedicate this blog to Roger Ebert, fellow Chicagoan, and the original “Your Movie Sucks” labeler. His movie compass points North 99% of the time (I respectfully disagree with his review of Napoleon Dynamite) but still in Wayne Campbell/Garth Algar fashion, I bow to the master. “I’m not worthy!!”)